merry FOL day

Weather: ...keep the change you filthy animal!

Ask Santa!
Just in time for the holidays now you can tell Santa what you want for Christmas!
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Did you miss an issue? Click this link to view past articles. Past Issues

I do this all year folks
Ron Perlman gets into the holiday spirit by donning a Santa hat and asking passers by for money...


alls quiet on the western front...we shot 'em
Sportsman Quartet visits troops to sing holiday songs and boost morale...

FOL

Strange Link of the Day

Lego Movies

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Xenodin 2001

The Candy Man Can

What is it that makes the holidays so enjoyable, no not Uncle Larry's striptease on New Year's Eve, but sweets. Candy is everywhere this time of year. You go anywhere and there is someone in front of you trying to shove that sugar crap down your throat. That is why this year when anyone tries to make me eat sweets and candy I am going to throw it on the ground, step on it, spit on it, and sing the 3rd verse to "Riverdance". No more cookies, no more candy canes, and no more fudge. This is the year it stops. Oh by the way where is my nog.
-E. S.

Lord of the Rings has been released

Much to the delight of Philip C.

New X-13 Sled Will be Ready Next Year


The X-13 sled that has been in development at the North Pole Engineering Group for the past 6 years will appearantly be ready for Santa's big day next year. The elves had hoped to get the new sleigh off the test track and into the air this year but safety issues and escape velocity timing is still not functioning at the desired level. "Yeah, I really think that if Santa were to take that out right now it work like a charm except he would probably land in the Atlantic somewhere around 20 minutes into his flight. And since we don't have that safety raft budgeted yet he would most likely drown, but other than that it's bitchin!", said elf foreman Neil.

Xenodin

Magic People

Vol I - 12

December 2001

Proud to be Free

December 20, 2001
East Peoria, IL 61611

Box 1-A
North Pole

Fat whitey,
Hey big guy! What is it that draws me and all the others around the world to write you that required letter each year. Okay let me get my request out first, before I start to ramble. I want, strike that, I need a new Super T-ManBot, Snake version. Listen if you can't get this you can forget those cookies. Now for the other request. I would like, if you find the time, to assist that poor kid down the street, Timmy. I mean he always comes to school in those worn out clothes. It is so disgusting! How can his mom let him leave the house like that. Alright, now remember THE SNAKE VERSION! No substitutes.

Holiday cheers,
Dow Jones