Weather: ...keep the change you filthy animal!
Ask
Santa!
Just
in time for the holidays now you can tell Santa what you want for
Christmas! Click
here
Did you miss an issue? Click this link to view past articles. Past Issues
Ron
Perlman gets into the holiday spirit by donning a Santa hat and
asking passers by for money...
Sportsman
Quartet visits troops to sing holiday songs and boost morale...
Strange Link of the Day
Xenodin 2001
The Candy Man Can
What
is it that makes the holidays so enjoyable, no not Uncle Larry's
striptease on New Year's Eve, but sweets. Candy is everywhere this
time of year. You go anywhere and there is someone in front of you
trying to shove that sugar crap down your throat. That is why this
year when anyone tries to make me eat sweets and candy I am going to
throw it on the ground, step on it, spit on it, and sing the 3rd
verse to "Riverdance". No more cookies, no more candy
canes, and no more fudge. This is the year it stops. Oh by the way
where is my nog.
-E. S.
Lord of the Rings has been
released
Much
to the delight of Philip C.
New X-13 Sled Will be Ready Next Year
The X-13 sled that has been in
development at the North Pole Engineering Group for the past 6 years
will appearantly be ready for Santa's big day next year. The elves
had hoped to get the new sleigh off the test track and into the air
this year but safety issues and escape velocity timing is still not
functioning at the desired level. "Yeah, I really think that if
Santa were to take that out right now it work like a charm except he
would probably land in the Atlantic somewhere around 20 minutes into
his flight. And since we don't have that safety raft budgeted yet he
would most likely drown, but other than that it's bitchin!",
said elf foreman Neil.
Xenodin
Magic People
Vol I
- 12
December 2001
Proud to be Free
December 20, 2001
East Peoria, IL
61611
Box 1-A
North Pole
Fat whitey,
Hey big guy! What is it
that draws me and all the others around the world to write you that
required letter each year. Okay let me get my request out first,
before I start to ramble. I want, strike that, I need a new Super
T-ManBot, Snake version. Listen if you can't get this you can forget
those cookies. Now for the other request. I would like, if you find
the time, to assist that poor kid down the street, Timmy. I mean he
always comes to school in those worn out clothes. It is so
disgusting! How can his mom let him leave the house like that.
Alright, now remember THE SNAKE VERSION! No substitutes.
Holiday cheers,
Dow Jones