it's getting hard to keep pretending i'm worth your time
Rosewood in East Peoria has an unsecured wifi...those crazy old people

my exciting day
Mood:  on fire
Now Playing: Against Me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Book em Dano
Mood:  spacey
Now Playing: Beat the Devil's Tattoo

Generally most people like books or at the very least don't hate books.  Now you have the crazies that want to burn books (hitler, pol pot and Christopher Columbus) some just read about sports...this entry doesn't apply to them.

For some odd reason whenever a book arrives and I am around I have to examine it thouroughly.  I have a tough time throwing things away anyway (just ask Tonto), but when it comes to books I feel as if I am committing a crime.  It must be all those scary librarians yelling at me in my head from years and years of telling me not to dogear, spill, throw away, etc.  They scared me... I have a couple criteria in my head for me to hang on to books:

1.  If they are useful to me now or in the future at work...this is the main criteria

2. If they have some sentimental value in my memory...old...I can't toss an old book in the bin  - this one gives me the moniker hoarder 

 

 

So, this week a few books show-up; Pinocchio with a record and Briar Rabitt and the Tar Baby with a record.  These literary and auditory masterpieces are at least over 30  years old.  Pinocchio is filled with creepy pictures of the wooden boy and his creepy creator all feeling his oaky body with his bony fingers.  The record puts the sound effects to the pictures with a lovely voice detailing the proceedings.  Oddly enough, it isn't Chris Hanson, maybe his dad?  

 

Then there is Brer Rabbit and the tar baby...nuff said really.  How in the world was this book ever deemed worthy for print.  Brer makes a baby out of tar...all black.  Yeah this book is so wrong.  In fact the combination of these two odd books makes you wonder about the person donating them.  Therefore now I have to find a place to donate them because I can't just toss them in the bin.  I have to keep paying it forward until they find their right home...probably Alabama.

 

http://okage.tripod.com 

building a better _____.
Mood:  bright
Now Playing: on melancholy hill

building a better _____.

 

 I love that Culver's slogan, pure genius.  Who would ever be against building a better anything?  In fact, I believe I would be even more flattered if a company said the truth, "Same 'ol thangs" or "not really trying."  After hearing this ad I decided what else could it be applied to...

Pentagon:  Building a better bomb.

General A: I wish I could quit making this same ol crap

Colonel B:  Why don't we just say we're going to build a better bomb?

General A:  genius...blow it up  

 

Company A:  Building a better service. 

 Man A:  I wish we could do what everyone else is already doing...but get paid for it.

Man B:  Why don't we just say we're going to build a better service?

Man A:  Genius!  ...blow it up, blow it all up!

 

Library:  Building a better library.

Librarian A:  how can we get people back in through the door.  We just can't compete with online resources and porn.  National geographic just doesn't do it anymore.

Bibliophile A:  Why don't we just say we're building a better library?

Librarian A:  Genius!  Can we say it has 25% more porn than before?

Bibliophile A:  sure...Building a better library, now with 25% more porn!

Librarian A:  ...blow it up.

 

So I wonder what company would ever be against a better anything which means everyone will always say they are better than the alternative.  How do you weed through the crud and find that person or company actually trying to do something better and help you?  The only suggestion I have is to have your wits about you.  Remember if you are the one paying money for anything, it is you that has control.  You can always talk a person or company down or shop for a lower price.  It is the company or person that takes the extra mile to keep you with them.  You have to love the free gift baskets.  Gift baskets do it every time for me.  That would be something I would like to see, building a better gift basket!

Sighting at a Community College Job Fair
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Broken Bells

09:45am...The parking lot is full of pickups and people in baggy pants and Ride the Lightning tees

09:46am...frustration at no spots except in the lot 2 miles away (note to self carrying crap sucks...someone else should really have to do this) 

10:01am...sign in with some old bitch and get directions to my table with a "somewhere that way"

10:02am...table is crappy, scratched wood, stuck in a corner of a hallway with no way out behind the table

10:03am...visit concession room,,,it sucks just water, coffee, soda and cookies...no good lemonheads....take water 

10:30am...first person arrives, you know the one that will give you the outlook for the rest of the day...old guy, pants pulled up to nips, glasses, and sounded dead on as a mixture between Mr. Rain Man and Horshack...if they had a love child born from their testicles this would be him...slowly gestated in testicles

10:45am...loud annoying fat lady rolling her bag

10:50am...client sighting

10:51am...visit the refreshment room for more water 

10:55am...another client sighting

11:00am...shorty guy with purple pinstripe suit, big nose and hair escaping from the nostrils in droves asks if he is able to apply...my mind says hell no...my legal mouth says fill one out...not to self, garbage bin

11:01am...visit refreshment room for water...run into Mr. Belgian telling me about his fantastic turkey wrap he was eating...ugh...went to the toilet, took a long piss and annoyed the shy-guy pissing in the poop toilet by staying a long time.  Seriously man up and stand at a urinal freak 

11:10am...LCSW lady with an awesome lazy eye and ever-thickening glasses tells me of the good work...as she walks away I notice her prosthetic leg falling off...please fall off

11:11am...old lady steals pen...I dream it is to tattoo her plastic PLEASE! 

11:15am...girl says she has never hurt a kid can she apply...well she meets my minimum standard

11:16am...guy says he has a gun felony...keep moving dont make eye contact pretend you're checking your email...dear god keep moving...he isn't moving he asked again...fall down, collapse....broken femur

11:20am...ex-charity guy is overheard talking about not knowing when people are hiring and is told to social network...i seriously want to blow my head off when I hear old people any people say "social etworking"..flipping twits...

11:21am...old ex-charity guy fell off the internet...guess his C-64 couldn't handle the power of unlimited porn

 11:22am...visit refreshments for water

11:30am...girl with gigantic pimple asks for employment, in my mind I squeezed it and it was good...so gooey!

11:31am...stopped staring

11:32am...ugly woman steals a pen 

11:40am...look at guy still sitting in same spot all morning...seriously go to class, library or home.

11:41am...large, bearded old man in a trucker hat smells of cheese passes by the table and steals a pen...sucker they don't work haha

12:00pm...just woke up I think

12:01pm...guy at unemployment booth talking loudly about awesomeness of Windows 7 and will take the course when they offer it at the community college...seriously if you don't know windows after the first 6 comeon it's like Leonard 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5...then 6...we all knew that Bill Cosby was gonna go all Ghost Dad on that Crack dealer's ass

12:10pm...professor asks what we do...asks me where unwed mothers go now...HAHAHAHA...oh my...did I just laugh...how did I answer that...uhm...they live with their children sans husband sorry that they are your neighbors now! oh the horror go back to 1940 and collect tin to fight the Germans

12:15pm...visit...got water

12:16pm...look out the window guy still sitting there

12:20pm...hear guy say "i's ready tos leaves y'all"

12:25pm...grown man in a baby stroller smoking a cigarette 

 (to be continued...)

therapy brought to you by Bic
Mood:  quizzical
Now Playing: Plastic Beach
Why is it when I begin writing or drawing on my arm, leg, or other accessible appendage I can't stop.  I feel compelled to finish that last touch of a face or line of a thought.  In fact, my feeling about what I write seems to be much more honest and fruitful than if it were just on paper.  I wonder sometimes if this is because I know it will disappear as quickly as it was written and no one will see it except for me.  Indeed, those feelings slide off my arm easily with the bitter water into the base of the judgmental sink and twirling down the dark depressed drain adding to my ocean of lonely lost thoughts.  I have a therapist, his name is Dr. Bic...please take a seat and enjoy the moment.

holiday on the moon
Mood:  don't ask
Now Playing: phrazes for the young

I should've stopped to think  - I should've made the time

I could've had that drink - I could've talked awhile

 I would've done it right - I would've moved us on

But I didn't - Now it's all to late its over...over

and you're gone...

 

 

missing...
Mood:  blue
Now Playing: memories
It is hard for a person to just walk away, things take time to overcome or adjust or begin to grasp how to deal with new situations.  It has been difficult...

collect 100 wrappers for a conspiracy theory
Mood:  cheeky
Now Playing: siamese twins

Just as a loaf of month old bread becomes a living breathing organism attempting to collect the most of green mold in the kitchen, so to does a child become a collector of candy wrappers only to achieve a petty prize destined for garbage...thats when those losers appeared...stupid witch.

 

I, Barnabas, was sitting around in my lounging attire, drinking my brandy and smoking cigars whilst talking about the Java Queen with Quentin when we stumbled upon a candy theory.  This was destined to be more influential than the string cheese theory that Steven Hawking types about... sidebar I like the singing cowboy with a hole in his throat, I miss him.  Now I enjoy a tootsie roll every now and then just like everyone else; however, in mid tarry chew during a discussion on genocide (it's like an everyday topic...talk about cheery) it dawned on me...Tutsi...Tootsie..Tutsi..Tootsie TUTSI!  Tutsi ROLL!  Would the revered Tootsie Roll company really be the sponsor of such an awful act...would they be the ones to cash in like this...would they, could they be the ones??  Gerard took it one step further and suggested that the "child friendly" Tootsie Roll Pop really meant Tutsi, Roll, POP!  Such a strong suggestion by a feeble, weak man...I bet he becomes a head in a box, he iis so worthless.  Gerard stated that the pop meant gun and the roll was the roll down the hill in fresh daisies singing...or rolling down dead.  I don't know, I don't listen to that gutless human.  Worthless Quentin suggested that the owl which spends its nights hooting and whoing symbolizes Hutu.  I don't know about him everyone knows you shouldn't listen to a loser werewolf.  Bah go cry in your brandy.  Oh well the day is breaking and I need to get back to my crypt before the soundman trips over the mic wires.  

 

 

books n stuff
Now Playing: travis - sarah
I saw this awesome book the other day as I was walking home.  So this is either high quality fanfic mixed with cosplay or Jeff Rovin is playing a cruel trick on me again...all because he sucks at Nobunga